They are too and it's FABULOUS! Wait, back up a bit. I got my tonsils out six days ago by Doctor Francis Chai, this amazingly sophisticated ear/nose/throat specialist who has risen above us primitive beings and uses stainless steel nose pliers!
Anyway, my throat has been sore sore sore and I haven't been able to talk (Tragic...) or eat properly. BTW they lie when they say you can eat all the ice cream you want because dairy products are actually really shit for the throat (It creates unwanted mucus and snotty little creatures and the likes. Not very comely.) It's a good thing I prefer sorbets and jelly ain't it?
I also can't drink pineapple (#1 best fruit juice) or orange juice (#2 best fruit juice) because these are both acidic and STING LIKE CRAZY! So I'm stuck sipping apple juice which greatly resembles pee and gives me a stomach ache.
I have gone through a whole 48 pack of panadol. Pretty impressive hey? No... not really. Oh well, I thought it was anyway. It's not like I've accomplished much else. I mean, I went shopping a few times. Bought some GORGEOUS earrings and some cute cute little pens and this really pretty pink tee shirt that I could so pair with a blue loli skirt and go full on casual Lolita.
Did you know they actually BURN out your tonsils? Of course, they use high-tech laser beams and stuff like that but all I'm seeing is Doctor Chai laughing manically holding a match down my throat.
In fact, I think he may have done that. My tongue and top of my mouth feel slightly charred... man I knew we shouldn't have trusted old Frannie... I mean he wore NAVY BLUE CROCS FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!
I wore a red hairnet and hospital bands because I'm highly special and allergic to penicillin. It was hilarious when they put the needle into my hand though 'cause I'm super scared of needles (I guess you could call me your average
trypanophobia sufferer) and I was freaking screaming and crying and then the anesthetist goes, "OK I'm done." a
And I was all, "I didn't feel anything."
And the nurse said, very gently and kindly, "We practically slathered you in numbing ointment dear. You wouldn't of felt that fucking needle if it were five feet thick."
But when they took the needle out... that anesthetist totally lied to me. He said the needle was so small he had to put his glasses on to see it... well either I have a warped idea of how small a small needle is or he is losing his eyesight.
But anyway, day six now and I can feel the scabby scabs in my throat literally peeling, dangling unattractively and then dropping down there into my stomach. Occasionally I'll cough up a small particle of scab and when I pointed this out to my grandmother she said it was exactly the same as picking a scab off your knee and eating it.
Umm... who eats their scabs?
Well I hope this has been an amusing/bemusing post. I realize I barely mentioned Lolita but I'm sure you can live with that. If not... please don't sue me.
XOXOX
RococoBow
My heart goes out to sufferers of Ereuthrophobia and Japan.... 